So ya.. It took more than a day... Whateva... But ya... what God taught methis trip.... As I sit in the Guard shack this saturday night Ihave actually had a lot more time to consider this.

Above all else I must say that God has begun to teach me about unity. Jonathan and I spoke before the trip about how important unity would be. We talked about how we both knew that the enemy would try to tear us apart; and over the course of this trip, I definately saw this.... Each day of the trip something came up between us, but was quickly overcome as we would talk it out. However, as God showed me more about what unity demanded, the enemy fought harder. On thursday night and friday morning, God was burdening my heart so much with the fact that, I cannot really be at unity with my brothers and sisters if I am not willing to at least be vulnerable to those who I claim to be the closest to. This thought terrified me as I understood exatly that which it entailed... I would have to come to the place where I could lay my life out and be trasparent to my brother, with things about my past that none have ever known.

This notion made me sick as I realized there are so many things that my own family, even Patrick, the closest brother I have ever known knows about me. But the Lord stopped me there and asked if I was willing to grasp unity at all personal cost... I told Him yes and that I would give all for that which He is commanding me.

So the next morning, I sent Jonathan a message, telling him that when we have time we need to talk about something very important. It was said and there was no turning back... Or was there? As soon as I took the step, the enemy came in at full attack. To make a long story short, the message never got there, and this fact sparked a number of events that all but ended Jon and my friendship completely.

Let's leave this here and talk about the rest of this trip as this situation has yet to be fully handled....

So what else? Well The first major thing that happened at the MTC at BYU was a talk with this lovely old LDS woman named Roberta. We talked with her for over an hour for certain probably an hour and a half, and my heart broke for her... And honestly for all mormons. Now this was soooo amazing because, since the beginning of last semester.. I have longed for God to give me a genuine brokeness for the lost... I know what that is like now. At that moment I began to understand why I will never win a sould for the kingdom of my Lord unless I love them first.

The next lesson I learned was the morning after this in devotions. Eric got up and taught on John 14: 22 - 32. This devotional changed my life... Because, as I said in my last blog... I have been depressed this entire semester because of things with Pat... But through this devotion, God freed me almost immediately. Basically... I might type up a study on this later, but here I'll summarize portions of it...

The disciples were in the boat that Jesus had confined them to and they were in the midst of the sea of galilee. Here the storm comes... The waves are thrashing the boat the disciples are in and in many respects threatening their lives. Now here we need to note something about the source of the waves. Verse 24 says "...battered by the waves; for the wind was contrary." The wind is Satan, our adversary, acting contrary to the mission that Jesus had called them to, which was to cross over.

So focusing in on the main issue, the waves are the trial that the disciples are in the midst of. Jesus comes to them walking on the waves. The waves didn't phase Him or threaten Him. They were simply padding for Him to walk on... But there is more to it than that... Jesus is right with us in that trial... and like He says in verse 27, " Take courage it is I don't be afraid."

So here we are as the disciples are, at a point in the trial where we can hide in our comfort zone, or step out in faith and put everything on the line to see what Jesus will do in this situation that He has already told us not to fear....

Peter asked the Lord to call him out to Him on the water. Once he saw that stepping out was the Lord's will, and not merely his own striving, he stepped out of the boat. And he walked on water! He was walking on the trials that were threatening his life.

Now lets take a look t this decision for a moment. Peter was a fisherman, he had been one his whole life, and the boat, was his comfort zone. This boat protected him from the very waves that threatened his life and he had been educated not to abandon this boat. Jesus couldn't teach him what He had to teach him in his comfort zone. So He called him out.

Now Peter, being obedient came out of the boat, and as I said before got to enjoy the experience of walking in victory over his trials. This is how God meant for the christian life to be! Walking in victory! But what happened at this point? Satan turned up the heat! The wind was blowing and Peter saw the adversary that caused the threat to his life and let his focus slip from Christ. (Vs 30)

As his focus drifted, he began to sink, but he cried for the Lord to save him. Now this is such an amazing encouragment.. Jesus immediately took hold of him. He is RIGHT THERE! He is there on a moments notice to helps us when we fall. Hebrews 13:5 says that He will never leave us nor forsake us... He is at my side and He is at yours in every trial, He's there right now...

This fact begs the question that Jesus asks next... "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

We have no reason to doubt... Though there definatly will be times when we do... Then Jesus went with him back to the boat. Jesus wants to be with us in the calm and the storms... And once we go through, not around the trial, we often will get the chance to have sweet fellowship with Him in the calm....

But ya... that made such a difference to me.... I know that Jesus wants me to walk in victory over the pain and heartache that I let devour me with Patrick... And even in writing this... I recognize that even things with Jonathan match this situation so perfectly.

God took me out of the omfort zone I had at Bible college and in the midst of spiritual warfare, where I could choose to leave my boat in a step of faith and become vulnerable... And I did.. I chose to, but the wind pcked up and caught my attention...and I sunk.... Because I doubted and I took my focus off of Christ....

This is how unfortunately I often must learn.... but the point is that I learn... Now my beloved... I am going to bid adue.. I will write the rest of the lessons that this trip to Utah taught me soon... until then... Walk in His grace!

-Because of His grace-
-Dave-